Tuesday, August 26, 2014

The (Unintentionally Humorous?) Guide to Rocco & Sadie, Written by Alex

In honor of National Dog Day, I thought I'd share something dog related that has been entertaining to some of my co-workers :)  Hope you enjoy this as much as they did!

Not too long ago Alex and I talked about our back-to-back travel mess which pretty much was a month and a half of travel, a wee bit together but mostly apart for work.  Now, if you know us you know we have two fur babies (Rocco and Sadie) and had to figure out a plan for their care during the time we both were away.  Thankfully, our friends Eric & Rose were happy to take care of our little kiddos for a while!
Like most dog owners, I wanted to make sure our kiddos had everything they needed to be cared for and comfortable which meant packing their overnight bag with food, treats, dog toys, the blankets they sleep with, and whatever doggie stuff else.  After that, I mentioned to Alex that I still had to write up a note for when to give them food, how much, temperament stuff, etc.  Here's where it gets funny/cute/nerdy...

The following morning I received an email from Alex that just said "For Eric and Rose" in the subject line.  When I opened the email and began reading, my jaw dropped.  Alex wrote out a two and a half page "guide" of sorts for Rocco and Sadie.  It was well written, accurate, thoughtful, humorous, and totally true- which written out made it incredibly hilarious!

REALLY-  Would you have guessed that Rocco "missed his calling in the adult industry"???  Or that he "is the obvious heir to our estate"?   And that Sadie "will invade your personal space as much as you allow"?  Not sure if you have to know Alex and I or our dogs better to get the humor, but I hope you find it entertaining at least?!   Happy National Dog Day, here it is....

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ROCCO
Feeding:
·         1 Cup of dry food with half container of moist topper – Dinner is typically at 6:30 or so
o   Half Milkbone treat at various points throughout the day (after morning potty, upon returning home, etc…)
·         Rocco can be really snotty about wanting to eat his dinner and will sometimes wait until just before bed. This is normal. All you really need to do is make sure Sadie doesn’t eat his food.

Temperament:
·         Rocco can be a d*ck. He doesn’t bite or anything and he’s always super friendly when he encounters new people (on walks and what not). He just has a bit of an attitude sometimes. He doesn’t really like to be picked up and snuggled. Most affection with Rocco is on his terms. Sometimes he will go into these little barking/growling fits we call. Our best guess is that he just really wants to play. He’s a big softy at heart but he has this really Napoleonic façade. He’s quite intelligent and he will exploit you.

Weird Things:
·         Wheezing Attacks:
o   Best way to describe them would be an asthma attack/heavy snorting – these are common with his breed and others that have really short faces. It can seem scary the first time it happens as you may think he’s choking on something. DO NOT pick him up when this happens. Instead, I always hold his chest with a light but firm pressure and stay with him through the episode. This doesn’t happen a lot so I doubt that you’ll have to worry about it. If it does happen, it’s usually short and rarely lasts more than a minute.
·         Barfing/Spitting Up:
o   Sometimes Rocco gets an upset tummy from eating too fast or drinking too fast, or a host of other Rocco reasons. If he does, it’s usually just a chunk of food or two and slimy, watery stomach goo. No real cause for alarm.
·         Humping
o   Not much to say here. Dude missed his calling in the adult industry…This side of Rocco might come out, perhaps it will not. Deal with it as you see fit. We’ll split any royalty checks for filmed performances with the two of you 50/50.
·         He’s little:
o   Although he doesn’t like to act small, his little sister has about 40lbs on him. They play very well together and it should even provide you both with some great entertainment however, we tend to error on the side of caution in his favor because he is little and our first born – thus the obvious heir to all of our estate. Use your best judgment. He’s had a sports injury once before from playing too rough so we’re just a wee bit more cautious now. We like to help him off of higher perches too (he likes to sit on the backs of couches and stuff) just to make sure he doesn’t jump down and hurt his little legs.
·         His Eyes:
o   They’re big and they’re also very close to the end of his nose so they weep more frequently than on dogs with longer noses. He’s freshly trimmed and scrubbed so I doubt that you will even notice over the course of 3 days but, if you notice a discharge (in the morning or after a long nap) it’s perfectly normal. If during play he stops and starts to rub his eyes, he may have got something in one of them or maybe was poked. We always handle this on a case by case basis and proceed as necessary – either helping him remove the foreign object or halting the play time.
·         Outdoor Time:
o   Be sure to keep him leashed unless under your supervision in a fenced yard. There have been a couple of instances in which we needed to chase him down because he got excited about something and made a break for it. Generally though, you won’t have to worry about him straying too far from your side. On walks, you can count on him taking a dump no fewer than twice…

SADIE
Feeding:
·         1 Cup of dry food in the morning as breakfast. 2 cups of dry food with half a container of moist topper for dinner – Typically around 6:30 or so.
o   Full Milkbone treat at various points throughout the day (after morning potty, upon returning home, etc…)
o   You’ve been to our house so you know we’re not too shy about table scraps. Just little pieces of stuff is ok on occasion but, don’t feel like you need to share. Sadie is a hound dog through and through – she’ll eat just about anything (in moderation).
o   NOTE: She has taken a tray of cookies from a countertop on Christmas Day when no one was looking but in general, she’s well behaved.

Temperament:
·         Sadie is a hound dog. She has 3 major loves in this life – Food, snuggles and sleep. 
- She will invade your personal space as much as you allow. 
- She will eat nearly anything that you offer to her. 
- And she likes to curl up for a nap quite a bit. 
·        She is the second born in our household and therefore she sometimes gets jealous if Rocco is getting too much attention. She’s not mean about, she just wants to be involved. She listens very well and is highly intelligent.

Weird Things:
·         Health and Whatnot:
o   No strange things to report. She’s a hunting/hound dog. As a general classification, these dogs are ridiculously sturdy and reliable. Give her love and feed her, and it is highly unlikely that you will have any cause for concern.
·         Outdoor Time:
o   Must be leashed at all times unless under supervision in a fenced in yard. She loves watching birds and chasing after squirrels so it’s important to keep her under supervision. She can run with you (half hour-ish maybe longer if it’s not hot out). If someone does take her for a run, I have to request that Rocco be receiving some sort of fun time/attention too… our kids get very jealous of one another. On walks, she is prone to pulling a bit so I like to keep her leash shorter and try to keep her near my side…it’s a work in progress.

OVERALL
These two dogs are our children and largely they’re our only family. They play very well together but there is an obvious size difference. We trust your judgment on what you feel is good for them and we know you will always keep their best interest in mind.  Although reading this sheet will lead you to believe that Rocco is a real pain in the ass, they’re both great dogs that have their own unique way of looking at the world. I hope you have fun with them as I am sure they will have fun with you. In the event of any emergency do not hesitate to take them to the nearest animal hospital/vet. You do not have to call if you believe it’s an emergency. For something small or if you feel something is just a little off, please give us a ring – there could be something that we’ve unintentionally left off this guide.

Thanks again for watching our babies, it’s a huge help!

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Cracks me up to see how much longer Rocco's list is than Sadie's, dude's a diva I tell ya!  
Well, I suppose I knew these things about our dogs, sort of, just never thought about them in that detail.  Gotta give it to Alex, he's a clever writer :)  THANK YOU AGAIN Eric & Rose for putting up with our kiddos!

Hope all of you with doggies enjoyed this day dedicated to doggie appreciation too!
Also gotta ask...
Would you want to hang with our pups?  Or do they sound high maintenance?!?  LOL

Our Sunroom update is coming up next along with the new wall art I picked up in Hong Kong (oddly enough it's dog-ish themed too, not on purpose, ironic I suppose?).  Hope you'll get back into the Home Stuff/DIY-ing gear with me later this week, see ya then!

Additional Dog Day background info (click here for more):
National Dog Day is celebrated August 26th annually and serves to help galvanize the public to recognize the number of dogs that need to be rescued each year, and acknowledges family dogs and dogs that work selflessly each day to save lives, keep us safe and bring comfort. Dogs put their lives on the line every day - for their law enforcement partner, for their blind companion, for a child who is disabled, for our freedom and safety by detecting bombs and drugs and pulling victims of tragedy from wreckage. 

3 comments:

  1. This was fabulous! Alex has an awesome sense of humor. We are the same with our fur babies - 2 dachsunds and our rescue lab mix. We went on a business trip (me)/vacation (hubby tagged along) in April in Orlando and my daughter and her hubby took our zoo, their puppy is the sister to one of our doxies, so they all spend a lot of time together anyway. We packed an entire SUV full to drop off the doggies and doggie gear....and I also cooked meals and dessert for the entire week so they didn't have to cook while taking care of the furry kiddos. The neighbors thought we were moving. Happy belated Anniversary too - you remind me of my daughter and her hubby - and my beloved home city of Mpls.

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    1. Awww... that is so cute and funny, just like us! Glad you liked Alex's doggie to-do guide too! I wasn't sure if it would be interesting/funny/realistic to anyone but us, so your comment was awesome! Love that your neighbors thought you were moving with all that you packed, LOL! thank you Heidi!

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  2. Awwww... I love this. I have two fur babies too and they are my children - love them like I bore them. (haha - TMI?) Alex is sweet beyond words to write that little bio... and it you guys lived in MA, I would watch your kiddos in a heartbeat!!

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